By Heather Brandon

Your mission is the following: decode these idiotic idioms about love. Read them out loud slowly to some willing victim until they sound like the familiar phrases they're supposed to.

1. Valid, offer, eels

2. Abs, incense, may, X, Sahara, it, growth, under

3. Offer, them, you, on

4. Aft, Hermione, yo, nor, art

5. Craw, smile, Art, intend, rope, 'tude, eye

6. Ate, bro', oak, Emmy, art

7. Where, yore, hard, honor, yores, leave

8. Gray, zephyr, ewe

9. Lovett, verse, eight

10. Emma, itch, maiden, heavin'

ANSWERS