By Tiffany Walters

A few months ago I was at a birthday party with some friends at a cool, trendy restaurant. The people in attendance were dressed really hip. They looked like movie stars you see in fashion magazines or on the television tabloid shows. It was really hard not to stare constantly at so many glamorous individuals.

As the evening went on, I had a variety of conversations, many of which were engaging and stimulating, but one in particular stands out in my mind. I was speaking to a male friend of mine about life, sharing some of our goals and ideals. He looked around at all of the beautiful people in the restaurant, turned to me and said, "All of these people here are 'beautiful,' but not really. They all seem to be lacking something spiritual, which makes them ugly."

I was shocked by this comment from him. He went on, "You dress just as nicely as they do, but you do not seem attached to it. You are a very spiritual person." The shock lingered with me for a few minutes. I was amazed that this male friend was willing to share such a compliment.

I quickly realized that my friend was in no way trying to flirt with me or make any moves. He was sincerely sharing his thoughts about what he finds to be genuine and real. He was taking the time to look beyond our male/female dynamic and share truthfully what he appreciates about me as a person. As a young adult, I have not had many similar conversations with other young males—one so genuine and true.

The Bahá’í sacred writings teach that the principle of the equality of men and women is of the utmost importance for the progress and peace of humanity. This principle is understood as a spiritual reality. First, one can consider how justice serves as an operating standard for any progress in the world. The manifestation of justice can be articulated as: when one sees through one's own eyes and not through the eyes of another, and when one knows of his or her own knowledge, and not through the knowledge of someone else. A lack of justice can be seen as, at the very foundation, the lack of knowing the truth for ourselves.

Discovering the truth in life may not seem like an arduous task, but it does take the realization that in order for one to be truthful, one must first be honest with oneself. This is no small chore. Being honest with oneself can lead down a path of self-discovery, transcendence, and sometimes disappointment and pain.

Instead of being buried under a pile of truths, one can learn to develop the skill of first seeing truth—in oneself and in the surrounding world—and then making the best decisions possible based on knowledge and discovery. Recognizing that each individual is a spiritual being is the most profound truth, and the greatest gift, for making sound decisions.

As a spiritual being, each person has the capacity to develop spiritual qualities. There are endless opportunities to develop oneself, and confirm a connection to a divine source.

In order for both men and women to commit themselves to the principle of the equality of the sexes, there must be an understanding of how both sexes are equal. Physically, there are obvious differences between men and women in regards to strength and physique. Socially, it remains evident that our society is structured in a patriarchal system in which power holds a high value and is seen as male-dominated. Even when women step into positions of power, they are still expected to operate within a traditional male-dominated environment. On the other hand, the role that women play as mothers and educators of their children contributes to the weighty influence that they provide humanity. This leads us to then consider the spiritual reality.

If it is true that each individual is a spiritual being, with a connection to a divine source, then this is where equality can first be found. We are all created with the capacity to develop spiritual qualities and characteristics like wisdom, assertiveness, compassion, and honesty. We are also each bestowed with the faculties to gain knowledge in all branches of learning. The sciences and arts require new developments as knowledge continues to be gained through our own internal human developments. This knowledge, when put into action, can ultimately result in the advancement of civilization.

This internal development is spiritual in nature, and men and women are both granted the capacity for this spiritual process. Education plays a large role in aiding in our spiritual development. When one receives education, one is afforded the opportunity to strengthen the mind and develop new ways of seeing the world. When one does not receive such an education, one is deprived of this growth, and may lack the possibility of contributing to a village, neighborhood, or broader society.

Education can be offered in a diversity of ways depending on the given resources. However, there is no doubt that if one does not obtain education, one will be limited in the knowledge gained in regarding the world and all that is therein.

Through the media, and conventional wisdom, women and men are often regarded as significantly distinct in their mannerisms, relationships, and societal roles. There are numerous expectations that men and women function with a completely different rationale. For example, intuition is a characteristic that is frequently attributed to women, while men are perceived to command the use of reason. Although there is some truth in these norms, the question of spiritual capacity comes into play. If men and women are instilled with the same spiritual attributes, then given the opportunity, do not both have the ability to make use of each and every spiritual quality? When operating with a standard of justice, both men and women are recognized to be equal in their inherent capacity to cultivate spiritual qualities and develop their true selves.

I investigated these ideas further after my experience at the birthday party. I felt an urgency to test this spiritual reality in order to enhance my understanding.

My friends Aaron Kreader and Lisa Blecker, who are in their early 30s, have been married for nine years. I asked them to share some of their insights about the equality of the sexes.

Aaron and Lisa both work as artists, and they enjoy encouraging each other in their endeavors and achievements. In the very beginning of their marriage, they were faced with the challenge of deciding how to manage their life together. Like most people working as a team, they decided to try things out and see how they worked. As time moved on, they learned that creativity in their marriage was a key toward happiness and success. Lisa shared that as Bahá’ís they realized that they needed to work toward perfecting their talents and abilities. Even simple things such as deciding who would do which chores around the house could be seen as a creative process. "We decided that we should take on tasks around the house based on what each of us likes doing, and may already be good at," said Lisa.

This creative process is rooted in a reality that recognizes the different strengths and imperfections in them both. They are not perfect people, and each brings their own unique set of circumstances to the table. "Lisa and I acknowledge that we have our own issues, but we are committed to owning our issues and taking responsibility for our actions," Aaron offered.

"We see ourselves in a learning mode, where encouragement is a key to unlocking our success," Lisa added.

Their vision of a learning mode intrigued me, and I asked them why it is of importance to them. "I can recall a time early on in our marriage when I struggled to feel secure with Lisa, and trust that she really valued me as a human being," Aaron told me. "This stemmed from some of my issues of feeling unworthy."

Lisa shared that she and Aaron have worked very hard together to deal with their personal challenges. As an artist, Lisa finds that she especially needs to have support in her endeavors. "Aaron does not just tell me that I should pursue certain goals. He actively supports me in my decisions."

"The role of men is to be encouraging and yielding," Aaron said. "We have been given so much encouragement in everything, and we have to give that back to women, not just in words."

After an intimate conversation with these two, it seemed apparent that their success in working through real challenges is to be honest with themselves and with each other. Although they shared that it can be an intimidating process, they see how critical it is when they are both committed to being in a learning mode. In this creative process, they each are active participants in their spiritual union. Each sees that the other person has endless opportunities to develop themselves, and as a result, contribute to the progress of their marriage.

Looking back to the birthday party, and the conversation I shared with my friend, I recognize why it was such a unique experience. As a young adult, it has been rare for me to have a connection with a young male that does not include some sort of awkwardness. Sometimes that awkwardness may be because we are two people who are getting to know each other, which can be the case for any two people. Other times, it might be due to an attraction that we are both trying to figure out. At any rate, it can take a while to build trust to a point where each person feels comfortable to be open and real.

My friend had no hidden agendas by paying me such a nice compliment—and that's why this experience was unique. It was clear that we both wanted to be friends. He took a moment in time to look sincerely at some of my spiritual qualities, and he shared what he recognized to be of value. He and I continued to spend time together after the party, and there was no awkwardness.

When we operate with the principle of justice, we are seeking to know the truth for ourselves and not the truth that comes from someone else. If we remind ourselves that as human beings, we possess the inherent capacity to manifest spiritual qualities, we can begin to witness the value of each person.

Women and men alike cannot afford to dismiss the richness and potential of each and every person. This understanding allows us to recognize that we are one human race—created for the same purpose. This recognition of our oneness is what will determine humanity's progress.